How can I quiet the restless beast that stirs inside me?
They say it shouldn’t be there, that I’m too old
and yet I feel its presence every day, and know its hunger
as it demands I feed it what it wants.
Demolition of its home began, a wrecking ball,
bulldozing chemicals, and radiation,
but still it raged from its safe haven in my brain
defying me to die to rid me of its lust.
It’s not a simple parasite, sometimes in exchange
it fires up creative powers that lead to writing verse
that people read and like, and thus it pays its way.
I circumvent its strength by insisting that my poems
have as their theme not lust but love, thus I hold the line
and use its mighty powers to contribute to mine!
© MM 22.6.2009
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I would assume you are referring to cancer in this poem, the references to chemical, radiation, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that the word usage brings to mind that the chemicals might be dancing with senility. Lust, being part of the most primitive parts of the brain seem to 'come alive' with senility. I have seen it before in aging men.
Interesting poem, but perhaps rather confusing.
Your reference on top is interesting: is this 'lust' that you have to feed every day , "as it demands I feed it what it wants' sounds more like an addiction than anything accountable to love.
But again, interesting poem, and I would not mistake it for any other poet's work.
Lady Nyo
Yes, I refererred to my prostate cancer, the treatment for which included a chemical which tells the pituitary to switch off the gonads. My oncologist tells me they'll probably resume their duty.
ReplyDeleteSenility is a dirty word among the elderly. Some have it, some retain their mental acuity.
Since I was nine years old, a part of me has wanted sexual satisfaction. That part is still operating and hasn't lost its power; we call it libido. It wants me to have a woman.
Is sex an addiction? I hope not, I hope its a natural activity.
Malcolm